When Privilege married Purpose

I was thinking about how to start today’s newsletter because it has been a while since I wrote one properly. And while I have a specific topic and a story that I want to share, anything I ended up writing today - I immediately erased because it felt abrupt. So I’m going to embrace the abruptness and start with a picture. A picture of my privilege, which is basically the hero topic of today.

As a chronic over thinker - I think about privilege a lot. Privilege is more than just a lot of money. Privilege is waking up next to a good partner. Privilege is a friend who you can call, without having to think twice. Privilege is a kind neighbour who sends you a tray of biryani, when you least expect it. Privilege is a parent who prays for you in every prayer, without you having to ask for them. Privilege is finding a pair of socks that match. Privilege is being able to walk on the streets without being stared at. Privilege is having a place - even a room that you can call your own. Privilege is being able to cook, what you want to eat. Privilege is being able to access water when you feel thirsty.

Privilege is unconditional love. Privilege is safety. Privilege is freedom.

If I was to describe it, privilege almost smells like a peaceful morning, where there is no one shouting or anxious - only the gentle, warm smell of parathas mixed with the sweet wafts of boiling elaichi chai and your family chatting away. All while there is a fire outside burning down the neighbourhood. (Don’t panic. Just hear me out).

Privilege can come in all shapes and sizes. It does not have to look a certain way or be a certain amount. You just need to have the eye to spot it.

I realized very early on that every little privilege we are blessed with, is given to us so that we can pass it on. While we should fully enjoy our privilege, it is not just ours to keep. It is a responsibility. If I have the privilege of grocery - I should want to share that with others whether it be by sending food to a friend or donating to a kitchen.

If I have the privilege of a healthy body and time, I should want to use some of that to volunteer for a cause I care about.

If I have the privilege of safety, I should want the same for others and in my capacity try to use my voice when I see injustice.

That neighbourhood fire I talked about figuratively, above - I need to play a part in putting it out, even if my house isn’t burning in it. Even if I am protected and enjoying a quiet paratha and chai.

Because imagine if we all just basked in our privilege - like chipkalis in the sun - and did not turn it into purpose how would cycles ever be broken? How would problems like poverty, education, violence - ever be addressed? If those who did not have these problems, did not care about fixing it for others. And if they just said, “Oh thank God this has never happened to us,” - how would things ever change?

Whether it comes in the face of money, or a peaceful morning - your privilege can be the driving force behind you making the world a little bit better for someone else.

Thank you for allowing me to do my little speech on this random Friday afternoon - or night - wherever you are. I now want to share a little fruit of my purpose. The ripest virtual kharbooza ever, that I got today. The reason why I love Soul Sisters.

This morning, Abeera Khan, a lovely member of our community shared the most beautiful moment of her life. And she is able to do this freely because Soulies normalized women choosing a better life, despite what society says. Here is what Abeera wrote:

"I still can't believe I'm writing this. My hands are shaking and my eyes are filled with tears.

People who know me well know how much I've waited for this day. Eleven years ago, my ex-husband decided to marry someone else because I couldn't make him happy. I had given him myself at the age of 24, bore two children and dedicated over a decade of my life. I tried my best to make things right, but Allah clearly had other plans for me. I got divorced, left with nothing but loneliness and pain. I could not fight for the custody of my two sons, who were only 10 and 5 years old at the time, because I wasn't strong enough financially, emotionally, or socially. Even my own family refused to help me raise them.

And so, a long journey of pain and suffering began that words cannot describe. How can anyone understand the pain of a mother whose children never slept a night apart from her? People said such hurtful things, my colleagues, my relatives – they questioned how a mother could leave her children. Did anyone ever ask me, even once, if I was okay? If they were there for me?

Other women who've been through similar situations know how difficult it is when you have no money and no family support. But a mother never gives up. I made a promise to myself that day to pray to Allah and try my hardest to become strong enough to provide a good future for my children.

A few years later, I got the opportunity to move to the US. And that’s where I found renewed energy to fight this battle. Being an immigrant, a single parent whose children were away from her was still challenging - but now I was able to make money to send back to Pakistan to my kids. I can't thank my Lord enough. Where I lacked in family, Allah filled the void in ways I couldn't imagine.

I remember the nights I spent crying. I remember feeling helpless. But I knew that I was the hero of my own story and I had the power to change the ending for all three of us.

The past nine years have been a long journey with many challenges, but the good thing is that within a few months of moving here, I was able to support my children financially. They attended the best schools and got a good education.

Today, after all these years, I am finally reunited with them.

They are able to join me in the US. Yes, I just received them at the airport. I believe everything happens for a reason, and perhaps this was the time destined for us to be together.

I wanted to share this story with all the soulies who are struggling. Know that you're not alone. Your God is always with you. And that there is a purpose behind everything you are destined to do.”

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If you enjoyed this newsletter written with love, thought and effort, click the heart near the title! Or leave a comment. Your support means the world to me. By liking this post and considering an upgrade to a paid subscription, you're helping keep Hey Soulie and Soul Sisters Pakistan free and accessible for everyone, forever! Love, Kanwal.